Friday, January 16, 2009


This is funny but a little "naughty." Forgive me for the "naughtiness", but I had to share this.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The woman described her worst experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was mid winter, snowing and quite cold, and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her behind rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

However, upon finishing, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her back side firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the exteme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed , she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her backside off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show Prize hands down. Or perhaps the should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment: "This gives a whole new meaning to being p'd off. "Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.


bennie and patsy said...

Now that is funny, so glad they got married after that they were a real team.

Grammie said...

Hi Clara! I am hysterically laughing over your post today.

I was so happy to read your comment on my blog from yesterday...for some reason, I could not find your blog in my list of favorites (recently had to uninstall and reinstall my AOL)...and now I can add it back.

I will be thinking of you and your continuing survival when I am walking with my sister in the Race for the Cure in two weeks.

Take care, Clara!

Judy said...

This is just hilarious. Can you imagine how she must have felt. Talk about a revolting development.
I can't stop laughing.

Peggy said...

All is well that ends well, imagine telling that tale to your grandchildren!

Beth said...

That is so funny, Clara! They certainly deserved the prize for worst first date, though that did seem like a good way to "break the ice" on a first date. Hee, hee...

Thanks for the laugh!

Jamie Dawn said...

An experience like that would certainly either bring two people closer or drive them apart.
How VERY funny!!
I laughed out loud!!!!
This wasn't naughty, Clara. It was hilarious, and I truly enjoyed it!
Thanks for the chuckle.

grammyof13 said...

I too am laughing hysterically. I can see it all while reading. I must have missed that one on Leno.
Thanks for a great post. Have a great week-end.

Grammy said...

Hilarious, I think I heard that one on his show. It is just too funny! I really laughed hard when I heard it. I had forgotten it, thanks for reminding me of it.

Mountain Mama said...

I guess they'd have to get married after such blatant intimacy!
This is a hillarious story!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh how funny, Clare. I had not heard this story... WOW!!!! I'm surprised that they got married after that. HA HA

Anonymous said...

I found your blog thru Leedra's and noticed that you love cookbooks too. I am enjoying reading thru your blog but just had to stop and comment when I saw this. This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. I wish someone else in the house were awake for me to share it with!!!!! You have a great blog Clara. Thanks for the smiles.