HAPPY HALLOWEEN.....

Since this is the time for goblins and bats....
Halloween spirits and ghosts and cats.
Weird happenings and witches brew,
These are the things I wish for you.
May the only ghost that comes to stay....
Be the Holy Ghost to guide your way.
May the only spirits you chance to meet,
Be the spirit of love and warm friends sweet.
May the tricks that you're asked to do...
Be the tricks of making a friend or two.
And of helping another along the way....
To add happiness into their day.
 These are Halloween wishes just for you....
And may God bless you in all you do!

STORMS......

This is my neighbors tree.  We had 70 miles per hour winds . 
That's the hardest storm I have seen in a LONG time.   I kept thinking of the song. "Till The Storm Passes By."   Hold me fast let me stand, In the hollow of Thy hand....Keep me safe 'till the storm passes by."

Back To The No Sleep Pattern

Last night was terrible! At bed time I made sure he had everything he needed....water, his bed straightened out, gave him his medicine and emptied his catheter bag. I hadn't been in the bed ten minutes 'till he started yelling for me. I got up to see what he wanted and he didn't know. It was like that ALL night. After about six times getting up and he wanted nothing, I didn't get up any more, but he called my name all night long. I feel like I have been run over by a truck. Now he will sleep all day.

Welcome Sleep!!!!!!!

The last two nights have been better than usual.  We both have slept.   It has been a long time since such a good nights sleep.   I have noticed that he is sleeping more during the day also.   I'm still trying to get my "room" going in the basement so I can catch a nap while he is sleeping.  Hope everyone is having a good week end....It is beautiful at my place here in Tennessee.   

HE CRIED THIS MORNING.....

I made Bill sausage and gravy this morning....  usually it is eggs, grits and toast.   He didn't eat a lot of his gravy so after he finished, I took him a biscuit with molasses.    He said that reminded him of my Daddy, and tears started streaming down his face. We lived next door to him and Bill said he could  remember helping Daddy make molasses and seeing the smoke coming from the fire.   Then I cried.  That used to be a good time.  My Mother, rest her soul would always make a pan of biscuits and let us "sop"  the remains out of the pan after Daddy had emptied most of the molasses.   

That's the second time since we've been married that I have seen him cry.....so underneath somewhere there is a tender spirit.  I'm glad I got to see it!!!!

I'M SO SORRY.....IT'S LIFE GETTING IN THE WAY!!!!

It's been almost a month since I made a post.    It's a full time job taking care of Bill.  He has always depended on me for his every need and I blame myself for that.  Now it is magnified 100%.   One of these days I'm going to make a list of how many times he calls my name during the day....and I never know when he really needs me or if he wants to know that I'm still close by.  A lot of the times, he doesn't even know what he wants when I go.  He will say, "I just wondered where you were and what you were doing."..   This morning at 4 AM his started.  I got up to see what he wanted.....he couldn't sleep (because he slept all day yesterday)  If he is awake, he thinks I should be awake.  I didn't go back to sleep.  That is the way  most of my nights turn out to be.  Sleep won't come to me during the day.  When he is asleep, I try to sleep and I can't.   I have a dark room in the basement.  You would think it was midnight there in the middle of the day.  I'm in the process of cleaning it out and putting up a bed to see if I can take a nap when he does.  And I don't know if his brain isn't getting enough oxygen or it's the morphine he is on, but he is saying the strangest things.  Ryan and Lucas have been with me for four days.  I took them to the mall Saturday.  Gary called and was laughing,  He told me what Bill had said.   He told Gary I was out selling tickets for The Bonnie Kate Theater in Elizabethton.  That is one of the oldest theaters in TN. and if I'm correct, it has been out of business for years.  Bill said I was out selling tickets Saturday.  My Oh My!!!!!Things like that ....I'm keeping a journal....maybe one day it will make me laugh all over again.  Right now he is having a BM (excuse me)  and he want sme to stand by his bed until he gets through.  He has to have a diaper because where he used the bedpan, he has raw places that I have to dress every day.   I know this sounds awful, but I wanted you to know I'm still alive....I started to say and well....but I have seen better days.   I think my better days will be after I'm dead and gone.  I will try to post more often...bare with me!