- Being of sound mind and body (a statement which does not bear close examination)..... I, Clara Melvin, do hereby record my last will and testament.
Knowing that Bill, my dear husband hasn't the least appreciation for....or for that matter KNOWLEDGE of my extensive yarn collection....which is deposited in sundry places for safe keeping. Knowing also that Bill has already notified the local dumpster....that should I precede my beloved to the Great Crochet Shop in the sky....to pick up and dispose of the before mentioned collection "willie-nillie", the thought of which causes me a most severe case of hives.
Therefore, I do will this collection and all other collections related to it, to my dear friends and fellow yarn collectors Janis and Carolyn. It is my wish that Janis and Carolyn, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof that I did not manage, although goodness knows I tried, to take it with me.....would come to my home, before the dumpster, search out my collection which is scatterly stored. That said collection should be rescued and put in my crochet studio along with my crochet needles, knitting needles, sewing machine, frames, old buttons, lace, crochet books, quilts, dolls and works in progress.
And after this has been done....refreshments should be purchased for my friends not yet departed...and every last one of them shall be in that room and they shall hold a wake and say lovely and kind things about me until they run out and then they shall divide amongth themselves, by lot, my wonderful collection.
I shall be hovering over that very spot until this is done. Janis and Carolyn shall then leave this spot and close the door, leaving the car, the house and all the stocks and bonds and other worldly things to those who don't understand.
This is my wish in the matter.
Signed: Clara Melvin Date: 01/23/07